Mind Vacation № 16: I’m in a Reflecting Mood - Part 1
Edges and Reach Arounds-A, 2023, mixed media on canvas, 52 x 42"
I’m in a Reflecting Mood - Part 1
Today is my birthday. Have I mentioned that my birthday and its placement in the year is something I struggle with? Anyway, I've been meaning to send out a Mind Vacation but struggled to find the internal space to write it. Over the past few years, I've had the privilege of working closely with someone who greatly assisted me in various work tasks, including crafting newsletters and Mind Vacation content. She even came up with the name (it's a good one). Her invaluable help was truly transformative. When we were in sync, the synergy struck me. However, when we weren't, it presented its challenges. I'm no longer collaborating with her, and it's during moments like these, when I'm eager to write, that I miss her the most. The exchange of ideas, and discussions about my work and business – it was thrilling, and having done it weekly for years, I now feel a void in its absence. But here I am, writing on my own, which I'm perfectly capable of, albeit perhaps with a few more dot dot dots ...
As we approach the year's end, I find myself in a reflective mood. I'm contemplating what worked, what didn't, what I'm letting go of, and where I'm headed in 2024. To kick things off, here are three key aspects that have been circling in my thoughts, each holding significance as I move forward.
#1 - BUSHWHACKING
It is a word I have been using a lot lately to describe what life feels like. It feels like the Universe is taking a (metaphorical) machete and cutting back what is in the way … like clearing a path, clearing the way. I see myself walking through a humid jungle and I am walking behind a jungle guide and this individual is just whacking the shit out of big, green leaves and crisscrossing branches. It is way too lush to see what is in front of me but the path is being cleared. Work relationships, outdated self-perceptions, and tired thoughts about Jenny Pennywood versus Jen Garrido are all being pruned away. It's a process I wholeheartedly am here for and deeply inspired by.
Speaking of my birthday, I don’t want to say the age I am turning, but there's no denying its weight. I've reached deep into middle age, and I can't help but feel that I have just arrived and am ready to show up for my life. Seems a bit strange since I have been living for a while now. But for far too long, I grappled with things and feelings that drained me, stole my joy, distracted me, and took me out of balance and it's a relief to understand that it doesn’t have to be that way. I am capable of so much more and I'm here now, and that's what matters.
#2 - Never turn your back on Jenny Pennywood
A sticky note on my desk reads, "Never turn your back on Jenny Pennywood," I can't recall the exact trigger for this reminder. Over the past six months, I've conducted three studio visits where I found myself discussing Jen Garrido's paintings, yet I'd always preface it with a mention of Jenny Pennywood. From there, I'd delve into discussions about patterns and colors. What struck me during this time was the profound realization that I cannot separate Jen Garrido from Jenny Pennywood; they complement and coexist with each other. Jenny Pennywood's expansive, "all over and endless" artwork style influences how I compose my paintings, stacked with shapes in the middle of the canvas, while Jen Garrido enjoys the freedom not to think in such terms. It's all pure balance, and I've come to realize that I am not in conflict with these 2 parts of me; they walk hand in hand. One can not exist without the other. Expect more insights on this revelation in 2024.
#3 Balls in the Air
On my never-ending lists of tasks and responsibilities, there's a special category I've dubbed "Balls in the Air." It's where I list everything that's in motion, whether it's related to projects I'm eager to undertake, changes awaiting implementation on my website, the management of ongoing and new productions, or the individuals I need to reach out to. It's essentially a swirling whirlwind of ideas within my mind.
One particular item in this category is our newsletter – Mind Vacation. It's going through another transformation. Initially, it started as a regular newsletter, but I later moved it to my website to enable comments. Unfortunately, the interface proved to be quite clunky, hindering the flow and my ability to work with it (I just don’t have time to wrestle with it!). I've been contemplating Substack, but that feels like an entirely different endeavor – one I might tackle someday. For now, we're migrating it to Squarespace, where it will have its dedicated URL and a more user-friendly platform complete with comments. It's all part of the ongoing process.
Another noteworthy point about Mind Vacation is my growing affection for it. In 2023, I discovered just how much I love it. I aspire to write more, and that remains my goal for the future. Back in grad school, I ventured into a graduate-level Lyrical Poetry Class, despite my initial cluelessness. Now, I recognize that it adds a new, profound dimension to my work and myself, something I genuinely appreciate.
ANYWAY, have a happy holiday that hopefully includes no drama and if there is drama, I wish you all the strength to move through it with ease.
XO, JEN
